Don’t dip your hand in the potty!
Don’t use Daddy’s favorite necktie to clean spilled milk!
Stop throwing your food at the dog!
Noooo! Mommy’s lipstick is not a crayon!
That list on top? It could go on for miles.
And miles.
If you have (or had) a toddler, I’m pretty sure you’ve spewed out tons of phrases that tell your kiddo what she can and can’t do.
It’s normal.
Toddlers are natural explorers and at times, are too inquisitive for their own good. But there might just be a way to “subtly manipulate” them while reserving your vocal chords (cue in sinister laugh).
Parenting isn’t always easy
That’s an understatement.
Which is why this might be welcome news: a new study suggests that toddlers are influenced by peer pressure.
Why is this important to you?
I’ll tell you in a minute.
First, let’s learn a bit more about the study
Previous studies already suggest that preschoolers use social learning or succumb to peer pressure. This time, researchers wanted to find out whether much younger children are influenced by others’ actions.
Before your search on Google…
Social learning is learning through observing the behavior of others as opposed to learning via trial and error.
Onto the exercise!
Researchers built a box with 3 holes, each with different colors. They also trained some toddlers to place a ball in only one hole, while others weren’t trained to favor any.
Now the fun part:
16 different toddlers were asked to observe the former group – 3 toddlers trained to favor a hole and one who was free to choose any.
When it was time for the 16 to place balls in the hole, guess which they chose?
What the majority selected, of course.
Now we can answer the question:
Why is this important to you?
Though the study group was small, it does make sense that toddlers imitate actions of the many.
It’s probably a built in survival instinct.
Think about it.
During the caveman days, if danger in the form of a stampeding animal herd was in full swing, toddlers would take their cue from all the other adults who were running for safety.
Now, let’s fast forward to today.
Take stock of your toddler’s friends or enlist the help of older siblings to model good behavior.
It can definitely give your vocal chords a break – even once in a while.
What do you think about the study?
(Enjoyed reading this? Do share.)
About Anne Mercado
I totally agree with this article! Another great post Anne. I can say that this has happened in my home, if I told one to do something already and then I tell the other to do the complete opposite, 9 times out of 10 they will follow each other. So this is very true. Thanks for sharing Anne.
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It’s nice to see that parents are confirming the findings
I agree they are influenced be peer pressure. Some more then others. But majority I think are. My oldest is an interesting kid, and I find my youngest likes to mimic his older brother. But I know if Noah was older, Jeremiah would probably mimic him. When I was younger my older brother didn’t get potty trained until I WAS. I think he was influenced by me. It’s interesting. So in that, you have to watch what you see happening with around your kids. The influence of others is VERY strong. So it’s good to have yours kids in the environment you want them to learn in. I try to, but it’s not always possible of course.
Hope your having a great evening!
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You’re right that the influence of others is strong. Wrote this a while back: Study Says: Improve Your Kid’s Skills by Exposing Him to Skilled Peers. So it’s never too early to choose your children’s friends haha
This is a great read as my daughter has just entered the toddler stage (a bit early, as she is a early walker). I wonder if this is why, as soon as she moved into a class at daycare that had a set nap, she suddenly became very easy to put down for a nap or bedtime. Good stuff!
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It’s plausible that your child’s easier nap routine is influenced by school. Glad you like this, Claire.
Very intresting…”a built in survival instinct” for sure!!!
I saw it first hand with my SON/DAUGHTER— he followed everthing she did!
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The little ones do parrot the action of others
Thanks for dropping by, Pam!
Ahhh.. this is why my daughter keeps surprising me with new expressions from playmates 6 mos older than her. She is totally learning from them even those not-so-good attitude of folding arms and “ismid” face. Need to discipline sometimes!!
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It’s plausible that she’s getting it from other kids and it’s normal. It’s just that they pick up bad habits too
I think there is a lot of truth in this article. I have raised 3 children all grown and now have one 3 yr old Grandson whom we are raising. I have to be so carful what I say around him because he not only repeats it but know how it’s used in a sentence.
Welcome to Green Eggs & Moms! And thank you for sharing your experience, hope to see you more here.
Agree. My daughter does follow the languages, acts, and behaviors of her classmates. It does make her feel(I guess) out-of-place when she is different from them. It’s hard that you can’t control it but you can do something about it by talking to your child always and also observing some changes in them.
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HI Irene! Yeah it’s normal for them to follow other kids – all part of social learning but you’re right in that we need to explain things when certain actions aren’t proper.
Thanks for tweeting this too, really appreciate it.
True, my toddler, when told not to do certain things; he reasoned out that he was just doing it because his playmate does it.
Twitter: ein11eleven
Haha Einz, don’t you just hate when the happens?
Dude I dig this article.
The word “peer pressure” is a heavy word to me, I like to call it something like “social instinct”. You know, no man is an island. It is the same banana.
At their stage, perhaps every child’s tendency to desire approval from an adult + their need to be accepted in a group makes for a potent combo.
The child educators in our family seem to make good use this tool a lot in daily schoolwork.
“See, Eli is eating with his fork, not his hands”. Then it makes a bigger impact on the child because now he appreciates how his social standing seems elevated in among his peers when he gets affirmation form an authority figure.
Eli may even goes home feeling a little more special because he did a better job, and his friends know about it too. We parents need to listen carefully when they tell us how well they did at school. Congratulate them and never let it fall out of the other ear!
The key items here are the authority figure, the group, and the recognition of the positive or negative act.
Goodness, we’re delving into developing self-esteem.
Parenting ain’t easy, but it totally rocks!
Thanks for your insightful comment! And the more appropriate term is social learning. Glad you liked this, TZH! Please say hi to your girls for me:)
Yue seems to be a bit more behaved now that he’s had two weeks of school. And he seems to be a bit more patient when it comes to asking for things or waiting for me to finish a chore.
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Glad Yue is more patient now, that’s less stress for you.
This is absolutely amazing!! I knew toddlers could take subtle cues but I really never got that they would respond to peer pressure so early on. GREAT study and fantastic post!
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It is interesting considering the whole social learning thing. Glad you liked it Jacqueline and thanks for dropping by.
Very cool study! I know my kids were definitely influenced by what other kids did, especially my daughter. If the big kids crossed the road, she’d toddle across without even hesitating! The boys had to learn that she would follow them anywhere and then make sure she didn’t follow them to the neighbors’ houses.
I wonder if this peer socialization is the reason that “babies of the family” like my daughter seem to grow up quicker, socially at least.
Twitter: karen_dawkins
Makes sense, Karen. Kids who have older siblings have someone to watch and learn from which means they’re ripe for social learning. Great comment, made me think!
Thanks for the great post! I’ve just spent the week-end with my toddler learning from the pressure of my pre-school niece! Thankfully they can also learn great habits, like healthy food choices and caring for others.
Warmest regards,
Joy
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Toddlers can learn a lot from older kids – even the not-so good habits so best to keep an eye out. Glad you liked this post Joy and hope to see you around here more!
This is when it all starts… wanting to be accepted and part of the crowd.
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Twitter: ErinPatrick
Hey Erin, that could be true too. And don’t they start young?