Why I Say My Child Does NOT Complete Me
From the archive. This post was first published on the original Green Eggs and Moms blog and is kept here as it was.
Note: While I try to veer away from sharing personal stories in this blog – being that its main purpose it to provide tips – I can’t help it. If my purpose is to assist moms and dads raise better children, then perhaps I’m entitled to share my personal experiences to give them a better insight into parenthood’s very essence.
I’ve often wondered why many parents say their children complete them.
I don’t feel the same way.
My child does not complete me
Have you gasped yet? Perhaps knitted your eyebrows in disbelief that I would say such a thing?
You see, I lost something special this year. Despite the excruciating loss, friends and family gently reminded me that I have a son. That I should be able to quickly brush-off the pain because of him.
This is understandable advise but being a parent isn’t an off and on switch you could use for solace or happiness.
For me, having a child allows for something far better than feeling complete.
My son IS my driving force
Had I been childless, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. I probably would have confined myself in my room, under the sheets marinating in sorrow.
But I am blessed. I have a wonderful 4-year old who reminds me everyday that he relies on me.
He thinks the world of me. He seeks me out for help and encouragement. He always wants to be around me and doesn’t know it yet, but he is developmentally dependent on me.
My driving force does not complete me. Instead, he pushes me to keep trudging on in every aspect of my life.
For me, this is more important than looking at the totality of life in terms of complete or incomplete. The bottom line is the effort I’ve put into making my life the best it can be.
My son is that voice in my head urging me to move past everything. To simply do better and be better. For this, I am truly indebted to him.
So why did I share this?
Because I see my child as something precious. Not only as a unique human being but as a true gift given to me. A living, breathing reminder that God is good, and though He does not speak to us directly (although I do admit that I’d be delighted if He decided to, then I’d probably drop dead of a heart attack), He does so through people.
As the year comes to a close, let’s all be grateful for all our children. Though they may be exhausting to care for at times, they bring true meaning in our lives.
And this is the message I want to give. This is a parenting blog after all, and all parents must know that we can have a better relationship with our children if we learn to see them for what they really are.
Not thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, whiny and havoc-wreaking little people, but as precious and irreplaceable gifts.
Do this and I assure you that it will be the only parenting tip you’ll ever need.
Cherish your children, as I do mine.
————————————
May God bless all of you and your loved ones this 2012. May He enter your homes and hearts to remain there for all eternity.
Here’s to a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Love,
Anne
Okay, so this isn't the best representation of the both of us, but it ain't bad either.
PS. We really have dark brown hair and eyes. And I’d never wear red lipstick!
Photo:Creative Commons from jawavs
No related posts.