What Is Parenting? A Fun And Light Interview With A Young Mom
From the archive. This post was first published on the original Green Eggs and Moms blog and is kept here as it was.
How many kids do you have and what are their ages?
I have a son – who will be turning one this August.
Do you stay home or work?
I work. I’m a lawyer in a private law firm. I handle litigation, corporate and taxation cases.
Where do you blog?
I blog at Legally Mama
My most embarrassing moment with my child was when…
Recently, my son discovered the silliness of picking his nose. His father and I found it cute because he really couldn’t pick his nose at this age anyway, so the gesture was just charming. But imagine our horror when he started doing that to other people’s noses. Hahaha.
A parenting topic I consider controversial is…
With the infamous Time magazine cover of Are You Mom Enough, I guess one hot topic on parenting these days is the mommy war between the breastfeeding mommies and the formula feeders. I’ve always believed that mothers try to parent the best way they could.
So whenever I am at the verge of judging the mother next to me, I try to remind myself that “to each his own”. And it has always slapped me back to reality that, like me, she’s also just trying her best to be a good mother in her own way.
To keep my sanity, I…
Treat myself to good food, watch TV series with my husband, and read blogs. But I guess the one thing that kept me sane through this married-motherhood gig is by goofing around, acting silly and laughing out loud with my husband!
The top 3 traits and/or values I want my kids to have are…
I want my kid to be humble. I want him to know that he is special – and so is everyone else. I want him to listen to uninteresting people, because they have their stories, too. I want him to realize, in the most loving way possible, that life here on earth is not the one that matters – so that when he has to make a decision, he can easily let go of his pride, his achievements, and his possessions.
I want my kid to learn the value of love. - So that when I play the strict mother disallowing him to go beyond curfew, he will realize that it is an act of love; so that when his heart gets broken, he can forgive; so that when he has enemies, he can look at them as opportunities to love; so that when my husband and I get really old and cranky, he can stay patient and loving. I want him to learn that love wins all the time, and if he comes to learn that, I’ll know that I have made a good mother.
And lastly, I want my kid to learn how to laugh at everything. I myself is a work in progress at not taking everything seriously. But he has a father that can teach him that.
When my child has a tantrum in public I…
Fortunately (or unfortunately?), my kid is too young to be taken outside. Most of the time, we just stay at home or with his grannies. So, I have not actually experienced dealing with tantrums in public. When that happens – I hope I already know the value of love I’ve been nagging about above. Haha. That, or I already know how not to take everything so seriously!
My child makes me smile when…
At eleven months, even just a silly clapping of his hands makes me smile! When he farts, when he burps like a grown-up, when he makes silly noises- these little things make me smile.
I remember my favorite motherhood song by Taylor Swift, Don’t Grow Up- there’s a line there which says, “To you, everything’s funny”. But as a mother, the apt line would be, “To you, everything is smile-worthy.”
When parenting becomes overwhelming, I…
..turn to my husband. We are in this together, and if we cannot talk about how we go about this parenting gig, then surely, the kids will be in trouble!
My favorite parenting book is…
I used to read What To Expect The First Year, but only to consult on development milestones. Now, I’ve ditched it altogether. I realized that reading books only makes me more anxious. So I base my parenting on instinct. Okay, sometimes google.
We spend Sundays…
..at home most of the time! We are a boring couple, quiet frankly. We just spend the day lounging around in our living room or bedroom, in our pajamas, playing silly games and bursting in boisterous laughter.
My favorite parenting blogs are…
My ultimate favorite is Momastery – because Glennon has done wonders to my soul. And who can pull that off while being out-of-this-world funny?
Second, it would be TopazMommy. Hers was one of the first blogs I’ve discovered. She writes so well and she makes motherhood fun and serious at the same time.
I like MotheringEarthlings. I wanna be like her when I grow up. Haha. She’s an epitome of a cool and hot momma, if that’s even possible.
I also like MommyFleur because she can share so much of her life without being afraid of judgment. I don’t think I can do the same. She’s also funny – I guess I’m a sucker for funny people.
Madamisismummy for its simplicity – it’s really an everyday account of a mother’s life. Wifelysteps because Toni inspires me to write so well. The list goes on!
One tip I would give to a stressed mom is to…
..Travel back in time – when you are of the same age as your kid and your own mother is the one stressed at the matter you are stressing about. Look at you now – does it create a life-changing effect on who you are? Did it make you less of a good person that you are now? Most probably, the answer would be no. So, don’t sweat the small stuff if it’s not really worth it in the long run.
Parenting is….
…being given a human being for us to love, without taking them as our own.
The hardest part about being a mom is…
..letting them go – to experience life, to be on their own, to make mistakes, to get hurt, to be out of our sight, to be their own person.
The best advice I’ve been given as a mom is…
In the TV Series, Breaking Bad, a father of a drug-addict girl was asked along the lines of, “How do you handle having a girl?”. Then he said, “You just love them. Because they will turn out to be the person they want to be.”
The most memorable Mom moment so far…
Everytime my son is latched on my breast, nursing, I keep on thinking that it will not always stay that way.. He will grow up, find his friends more amusing than his parents, fall in love, have a family of his own. And when that happens, I have to let go. So I try as much as possible to etch that scene so deeply in my heart, because one day, I know I would kill to have that moment back but it will not happen again.
I would like to thank Khaye for agreeing to give articles every week for July despite her busy schedule! Though I’m a bit sad that this temporary partnership is ending, I take solace in the fact that I can still bug her anytime on twitter or email.
If you missed any of her writing, you can view them here:
- How To Manage Raising A Child Single Handedly (That Worked On Me)
- Ouch! How To Avoid Your Breastfed Baby From Biting You-Know-What
- Oh the Wonderful Things Mom & Baby Do (A Heartwarming Post)
- Random Things I learned From The First Year Of Motherhood
Catch more of Khaye in her blog: Legally Mama.