Can Some Mothers Feel Unmotherly? | Green Eggs & Moms
From the archive. This post was first published on the original Green Eggs and Moms blog and is kept here as it was.
Can a woman carrying a child or who has given birth not feel the overwhelming joy and fulfillment that comes with motherhood?
Mothers. What comes to mind upon hearing this word? A woman who is completed by: getting up to feed her newborn in the wee hours of the morning, providing comfort and encouragement to her toddler, patiently teaching life lessons to her pre-schooler and loving her child with all her heart.
But what if Mom is not feeling so motherly?
What if she feels no sense of fulfillment or happiness years after her child is born?
I came across an article entitled Not Every Woman Is Wired to Be A Mom, Readers Agree. The post includes comments from other women who have experienced this non-motherly feeling either through their own mothers, or themselves.
It all started with a letter from a mom who was advised to seek help for her lack of motherliness, if you will. Apparently, this mother was 7 months along and did not feel anything for her unborn child.
One could argue that prior to having children, a woman should be certain she wants kids in her life. However, what happens if one thinks she would enjoy motherhood, but when the time comes, finds that she doesn’t?
- Keep trying. Mothers are responsible for the well-being of their children, rain or shine. A woman who has trouble finding the joys of motherhood can seek professional to ensure she is not suffering from depression. However, as one comment form the article suggested, if a mother’s relationship towards her is in danger of being negative or destructive…
- Consider giving up the child to another family. I know of many childless couples who would happily welcome a new family addition. It is only fair that the child be given a more positive and loving environment, especially if her own mother cannot provide one.
So, to answer the question in the title, yes, it is possible for a woman to feel unmotherly. Perhaps some are really not cut out for motherhood. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that.
What is important?
The well-being of the child. If a mom can get past the unmotherly feelings to provide a nurturing environment, good. If not, adoption might be the best option.
What about you? How did you feel about your child while you were pregnant? What about after giving birth?
Source:news.yahoo.com, Not Every Woman Is Wired To Be A Mom, Readers Agree
Photo:
Creative Commons from originallittlehellraiser
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