Potty Training Problems: My Child Wont Pee or Poop in the Potty
From the archive. This post was first published on the original Green Eggs and Moms blog and is kept here as it was.
Hello there toilet training mom! Are you experiencing one of these:
- your child won’t poop in the potty
- your child won’t pee in the potty
- all of the above
The good news is, no matter what your answer is, we’re here to help flush away your potty training problems. Ready?
Why kids refuse the potty & how to fix it
1. Fear
The potty may not be the friendliest and warmest of all. According to BabyCenter.com, the white and cold ceramic bowl adds to a growing list of what a child can be fearful of. What are the others?
- Flushing makes loud sounds - which is why automatic flushing often seen in public toilets give kiddos the spooks
- Disappearing act - flushing creates the now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t scenario which may also freak out young minds
- Possibility of falling in - or worse, a prior experience of falling in
- Splashing sound - made when poop falls into the toilet, the splash can be one reason your child refuses to use the potty
- Loosing a part of him / her - some say that kids may view poop as part of their bodies which is why flushing scares them (and yes, again with the flushing)
These may sound silly or like they came out from a Stephen King book but for children, these fears are grippingly real. How to flush these toilet training problems:
- Ease your child into it. Baby steps ought to do it. If your child fears the flush, start potty visits without flushing. Another idea is: once the kiddo is off the toilet, ask if she’d like to press the flush button to see what happens to the water inside. Books about flushing can also help drive in the point that there’s nothing to fear.
- Potty time is fun time. Try to make each potty visit a fun one by being upbeat, patient, calm and creative. For the latter, allow your child to decorate her potty with stickers or drawings, and take a toy along for the ride.
2. Pain
RogerKnapp.com explains that toilet refusal – pertaining to bowel movements – usually stem from:
- a painful voiding experience such as constipation
- experience with a painful suppository or enema
- being punished while seated on the potty
He points out that toilet refusal is rarely because of fears despite a child’s claims. But don’t write off item #1 just yet because it’s good for parents to have different options for getting rid of potty refusal. How to flush these potty training problems:
- Soften stool. Increase fiber intake or give laxatives; for the latter consult with your doctor prior to giving any medications.
- Don’t be a critique. Avoid reprimanding your child while she’s on the potty. This means keeping your cool even when she has an accident.
- Use the Magic Diaper technique that’s outlined in RogerKnapp.com (scroll down towards the middle, look for the “toilet avoidance or phobia” heading). It’s about setting mini-milestones to get your child to slowly be comfortable with using the dreaded toilet:
- Ask your child to poop with diapers on while standing near the toilet.
- Ask your child to poop with diapers while sitting on toilet.
- Ask your child to poop using holey diapers. Cut a hole in the diaper before putting it on her. When she sits on the potty to poop, the stinker free-falls into the toilet.
3. Power Struggle
Power. A source of great tension – and yes, even while potty training. Here’s what may have caused your child to rebel:
- nagging or constant reminders
- she may have been forced to stay in the potty against her will
How to flush these toilet training problems:
- Quit nagging. Avoid reminding your child to potty every hour or even when she looks like she has to go. Replace this with a non-verbal reminders by placing her potty in an easily accessible area or have her run around diaper-free to encourage potty visits.
- Transfer control to your child. Pass the responsibility of going to the potty to her. This will make her feel more in control since her potty visits are from her own volition – not mommy’s.
Understanding why your child has potty training problems is key to helping her get on the potty. Remember to be patient, calm, understanding and positive – a supportive environment will help your kiddo get better acquainted with Mr. Toilet.
Got other tips?Do share them with us to help relieve other moms of their potty training problems.
Photo: Creative Commons from Robin Hutton